my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
