The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
