its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
