And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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