so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
