i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
