Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
