I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he thought i was a dude.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
