i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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