I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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