Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
