singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
