He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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