bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
