What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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