Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
