I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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