Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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