I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
