i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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