So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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