CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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