It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
lets start a swedish sibling band together
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
