I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
