I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Farmville is her only friend.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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