Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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