and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
