That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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