Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
