He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
