Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
