I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
