I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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