I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
