we're blogging at a bar
I'm jealous of your bromance
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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