So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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