I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
