sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Still dying that you shit outside
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
