it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
