Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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