The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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