Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
