You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My vagina is officially offended.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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