she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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