this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
