Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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