Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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