walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
