You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
