i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
